The Mythical History of Applelot

Questions have been asked, people are confused. Interest grows regarding this place called Applelot and its history. This page attempts to answer many of those questions, resolve that confusion, feed the interest. It is (mostly) unchanged from a post by Pingdave in January, 2008.

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Applelot was started in a different time, in a different world that is now gone: the old yahoo AAPL board, often referred to now as TBTSNBN “The Board That Shall Not Be Named”. It was a brief shining moment of fun, frivolity and friendship. It lives on mostly through the hard work and stubborn persistence of howlongtoretire, who by no small coincidence came up with the name Applelot.

A post from howlongtoretire on the public iV Apple board about it, taken from the old yahoo board…where the name was born. Note the date.
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A little Applelot History for those who are scratching their heads (14-Oct-05 09:48 pm)

*runs in, opens scroll, reads*

By decree of the Queen and Her Court!!!!!

The message board, previously known as AAPL (Apple Computer, Inc.) shall now be know as:

Applelot!

Applelot was the most famous castle in the medieval legends of Queen Lifeisgood, and where, according to legend, she reigned over MFST before the DELL conquest. At Applelot Lifeisgood established a brilliant court and seated the greatest and most chivalrous warriors in Europe, the Ladies of the Jobs Table. Applelot was the starting point of the Quest for the Killer App, and by the 2000’s, it came to symbolize the center of the Jobsian world.

The oldest known stories of Lifeisgood don’t refer to Applelot by name. It is first mentioned explicitly in the romance My Girl written by Pingdave in the twelfth century. Different writers throughout the ages have placed Applelot in different locations. Emperor Fubar, in Le Morte D’lig (21st century), placed the castle in Las Vegas.

Deagol, in his History of the Queens of CA (about 2002) named Newton Castle in L.A. Another theory puts Applelot near Bakersfield, Lifeisgood’s reputed birthplace. According to the romancers, Applelot was named after a pagan king called Appleonia. Modern attempts at identifying Applelot have sought to place Applelot at the ruins of Microsoft Castle in Redmond, excavated in the 2000’s. There is much underlying tradition to support this belief.

Microsoft Castle is an earthwork fort of the Iron Age, which looks over the Vale of Vista to Vaporware. Nearby is the River Cam, and the village of Queen Camel (once known as Camel) The antiquary John Leland, in the reign of Henry VIII speaks of local people who refer to the fort as “Appleat” and as the home of Lifeisgood.

The Once and Future Queen and Applelot itself has come to not only be viewed as a place, but as a state of mind or a reflection of a lost ideal. Tennyson, in the Idylls of the Queen writes that it is symbolic of “the gradual growth of human beliefs and institutions, and of the spiritual development of man.”

*rolls up scroll, runs like hell from bashers*
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again, Pingdave writing:
some more intreresting history from Deagol, the once and future king who sadly declined the throne, and remains in a self imposed exile. .. only returning every now and then with proclamations and pronouncements that rivet all who read them:

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Re: A little Applelot History - King for a day

Sorry if I’m late on this, just read through them and thought it’d be fun to dust off some of the old scrolls…
(follow the links to relive all the fun, especially the last one)

The Nomination

29-Sep-05 11:23 am - by pingdave

I nominate Deagol_the_Stoor as king for life of AAPL message board.

Dude, you crack me up.

LMAO!!

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The Coronation

29-Sep-05 06:49 pm - by pingdave

Since ealier I nominated Deagol_the_stoor as king of the AAPL message board, I hearby nominate lifeisgood1418 as queen.

No one from the superior gender posts better stuff than she does, and she puts up with the testosterone fueled garbage here with grace and wit.

so…..

Hear Ye Hear Ye!!
Fear ye who cross the queen, for yeah though she is kind and wise, her wicked tongue is merciless to the ignorant and rude.

Long live the Queen! Huzzah! Huzzah!

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The Coup d’État

30-Sep-05 12:38 am - by Deagol_the_Stoor

Re: Lifeisgood

>>and the kingdom is a matriarchy<<

There! I’ve been ousted already lol. But can’t I at least have chocolate?

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The Resignation (and other matters)

14-Oct-05 03:32 am - by Deagol_the_Stoor

Re: Checking in with the Court

As per Her Majesty’s request, this is a Matriarchy, and thus I’ve renounced of the crown and happily become absorbed with counting and forecasting the kingdom’s abundant riches.

Kingship isn’t my thing anyways, preferring to earn my place in the kingdom through my honest work, and not wanting but the simple pleasures of this world, a nice honeyed ham and buttered cornbread, ale in licentious measure, music and dance, ingenious games and puzzles to tickle the mind, among many simple things, all shared with friends and family.

But even if I only rule myself and don’t pledge allegiance to anyone, I do see the need of sovereignty and hierarchy to maintain control over the village idiots and villains.

I’m sorry I’ve been mostly absent for the recent festivities, but with all the palmistry, crystal ball, tarot readings, I’ve been unable to find myself at home among the chaotic cacophony of these last couple of days, even with Merlin’s powerful incantations to lift the veil of doubt cast on the stock by some rampaging beasts in the after-hours. But they’ve left already or are about to.

To this end, I’m grateful for the shrewd members of the Queen’s Court, and gladly welcome the recent appointment of that magnificent Istari (wise one) Merlin, as well as the fierce new Dragon Fubar.

Obviously, I can relate to the importance of record keeping, and I can count on our efficient scribe Howlong (oh anyone can get tipsy after bowing so much… and the wine couldn’t have helped) scurrying efficiently after all my research. Oh, do you happen to have on hand a scroll with the names of these most recent invaders and beasts to avoid and ignore by all means? It would help to clean up this mess they’ve all left.

And finally, The Queen’s wisdom has been infinite in Her choice for Her Court’s Jester. The old story of “Dell of the Rocks” made me spill my ale all over the desk, spoiling all the scrolls filled with numbers and tables and formulas and charts! No problem though, there’s a few copies of it all here or there…

Is there a Royal Accountant in the Court? There’s some small change leftover from having put aside too much as tribute to profligate Pope Bush and the filthy lucre of his Clergy, but we’ve managed to salvage 12 pence from it.

Now, most pundits declare this as superfluous, and in no way counting towards additional profits for the kingdom’s operations, which I disagree with. The trimester’s report clearly recorded it and validated it as GAAP, so these pundits must be talking about non-GAAP.

However, the report includes a non-GAAP reconciliation, where not only the aforementioned 12 pence remain, but another one pence is added, totaling 51 for the most recent period. So, what to do? I can’t seem to count anymore, all others say it’s 37, but why not 38 (adding the 1 identified as non-GAAP), or 50 (with the 12 tributary salvage), or even 51 (the 12 and the 1)? Why do we have to go with the worst case? Ok, for now I’ll just throw it on top of the mountain-high treasure of gold and jewels.

Last chance to grab the old sheet, since I’ll soon upload it with the new data.

Enjoy!
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Pingdave writing again:

Immediately after lifeisgood was declared queen, several fair maidens (including my dear kylobbyist) became princesses of the royal court, I became royal jester, howlongtoretire royal scribe - a modest title the in no way describes his importance - and many more followed.

Members of the AAPL Sanity stock board can go to the “Blogs” link above the board, and look at the “Apple Sanity Members List” scroll down and read the current members of the court, and their positions. TechStock2000, Keeper of the Jewels, is wonderful for maintaining the list, and updating it, and deserves many Huzzahs!

Much more could be written.. and I will defer to others.

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